Hallo Readers,
Elon Musk is not content with his existing status as the world’s richest man, his new status as Donald Trump’s brother-from-another-mother, his forthcoming appointment as joint head of the Department of Government Efficiency, which sounds like something out of 1984, and the fact that many regards him as the de facto President-elect of the United States. He now wants to run the world. He has endorsed a far-right German political group, attacked President Macron and has now gone to war with Keir Starmer and Jess Phillips, the Safeguarding Minister, over the Government’s refusal to hold yet another public inquiry into the gangs which groomed and raped vulnerable young girls around the UK. Musk’s interest in this topic appears to be twofold. First, he is a great admirer of Tommy Robinson, the racist scumbag currently serving 18 months at His Majesty’s Pleasure for contempt of court, almost derailing the trial of a gang of said rapists by broadcasting seriously prejudicial material from outside the court as the trial was progressing inside the court. Second, the gangs in question were largely men of Pakistani heritage, i.e. not white, and Musk is intent upon pushing the Great Replacement Theory, attacking any form of equality when he happens upon it. According to Musk, and to his even more idiotic father, Robinson is Nelson Mandela and a political prisoner. Indeed, the idiot father popped up on LBC this week, telling the bemused interviewer that Britain was unprepared to accept the inevitable truth, namely that Robinson would one day become Prime Minister – once he got out of chokey, that is. Being South African, and therefore possibly unfamiliar with British election law, Musk père has failed to grasp that anyone who has been sentenced to more than 12 months imprisonment is ineligible to run for Parliament. Listening to him, WTF understood the meaning of the old adage that an apple does not fall far from the tree – and in this case the apple is rotten to the core. And the tree.
In dozens of increasingly deranged tweets, Musk accused Starmer of being “deeply complicit in mass rapes in exchange for votes” and called Phillips, who has dedicated her life to the safety of women and children, “a rape genocide apologist”, whatever the hell that means. But Musk is not interested in the truth. The Tories immediately jumped on the bandwagon, demanding the public enquiry they themselves had not seen fit to set up when they were in office. Starmer pointed out that no Tory front bencher had come to Phillips’s defence, despite the fact she was now receiving death threats, and he condemned them for “amplifying a far right agenda” in their desperation for attention. The Tories and the right-wing papers like the Daily Telegraph, the Daily Mail and the piss-poor Daily Express promptly misrepresented this as Starmer saying that anyone with concerns about rape was right-wing. Which of course is not what he said, and they know that it is not what he said, but they said it anyway. Like Musk, the truth has long since left the building and all that matters is clickbait. And power. For shame. Except that shame has also long since left the building as well.
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We start our review of the week’s ghastly gear in Hollywood, then smoke-free, at the Golden Globes Awards. This was the first of a series of award ceremonies where the great and good of stage and screen parade the red carpet in their borrowed finery and tell each other how marvellous they are. Unsurprisingly, the Critics Choice Awards, which were due to be held this Sunday, have been postponed until they can put the fires out. Anyway, here is actor Aunjanue Ellis-Taylor wearing something horrible. No designer has owned up to this excrescence. Good call.
WTF is not clear what this is supposed to be and she notes disapprovingly that the jacket and trousers appear to have nothing whatsoever to do with each other, not even at all. But the main problem, as far as she can see, is the foliage on the jacket, which makes Aunjanue look as if she is sticking her head out of a bush in the manner of Homer Simpson.
Next up, Andrew Scott, wearing Vivienne Westwood.
There is matchy-matchy. And there is this. This left match-matchy five miles down the road and has gone full exotic parrot.
And now we have actor Kerry Washington wearing Balenciaga.
If Barbie went to a fancy dress party as an Egyptian mummy, complete with hosiery and incomprehensible black opera gloves, this is what she would look like.
This is actor Chris Perfetti wearing Tanner Fletcher.
Chris has come dressed as Manuel from Fawlty Towers. Who knows why?
A newcomer for you, influencer Brianna LaPaglia, aka Brianna ChickenFry, wearing Maria Lucia Hohan,
Apparently the reference to chicken fry is a joke about her legs, only you cannot see her legs.What you can see is a lot of tittage. Bloody masses of it. People used to emerge out of cakes. Or, in the case of Venus, seashells. Brianna is emerging naked from one of those brown cardboard tubes used to send photographs through the post. WTF does not even want to think about the amount of tit tape used to keep that dress up for the evening. Or about the pain of removing it afterwards.
Now actor Eddie Redmayne wearing Valentino.
A former model, Eddie can usually get away with almost anything, but even he cannot pull off going out and about dressed as a bathroom floor.
Welcome back to TV personage Jonathan Van Ness wearing Christian Siriano.
Oh for heavens sake! If you’re going to wear a silk gown, at least get your bloody chest waxed.
This one caused WTF some pain, because she first took a great liking to Jeremy Strong when she spotted him in The Big Short. Not to mention Succession. But he is getting weirder and weirder, as evidenced by this get- up by Loro Piano.
He looks like a love child of a fisherman and a DFS velvet armchair. WTF is not sure what colour shoe would go with this particular set of soft furnishings, but she is absolutely sure that black is not it.
And finally, actor and comic Ali Wong wearing Balenciaga.
What is it with Balenciaga and black opera gloves? First Kerry, and now Ali. But the gloves are as nothing compared to the dress, which seems to have been inspired by Elmo from The Muppets.
This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF from Islington, who was highly displeased when President Carter’s splendid State Funeral was polluted by the toxicity that is President-elect Shit Smear and his wife Melania. With the exception of President Obama, who sat next to Shit Smear and made nice, the other former Presidents and their wives ignored both of them – and no wonder. I mean, look at them.
They are both smothered in the same shade of makeup, which they probably have delivered by tanker, and for some reason, she is dressed like someone who came over on the Mayflower in 1620, (rather than arriving at JFK on a tourist visa and overstaying). She sulked and pouted throughout the proceedings and looked haggard and angry. She is awful. He is awful. They are both awful. It’s Got to Go.
OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep your tip top comments coming through and your splendid suggestions for It’s Got To Go. And do follow me on @wtffashionshark.bsky.social. Let us meet again next Friday, Be good x